Time goes by

New Year's Eve and I'm staying in, getting an early night. It's a relatively new tradition for me, brought about by the heavy pregnancy of Posh with Big Boy 5 years ago, and sustained by the birth of Little Lad, and their continuing presence in our lives (for which I am utterly thankful). Even friends with children - I'm thinking particularly of Necoh - are a little bemused that I care very little for late night New Year celebrations, but since the boys are with me for a few days :) I have an early morning tomorrow,. same as any other day of the year. It therefore seems to fall upon me to tackle a great hero: Chronos, Old Father Time, Saturn .

Part of my issue with it is the arbitrary nature of it all. That's part of why I wasn't overly fussed about the boys being with Posh at Christmas - that day means more to her than it does to me, with my hippy upbringing and adolescent celebrations of the winter solstice. But it will come to mean a great deal to the boys, and so I think it will come to be more important to me. But I digress. What's really on my mind here is the calendar. Apparently, the Gregorian calendar was insituted in 1582, and Italy, Spain, Portugal, Poland and Lithuania took it up there and then, losing 10 days and skipping from Thursday 4th of October to Friday 15th. England didn't take it on until 1752, and the calendar then skipped from Wednesday 2nd September to Thursday 14th. Even in 1882, Russia and Britain were running different systems, so I don't know whether or not I share my birthday with Stravinsky. (Big question....!) So it's all made up.

But it doesn't quite feel so easy to dismiss. We all agree to hang our time on this system, and thus it thrives, not only as an organising principle, but as a thought. And so I still sit here pondering the events of the last 12 months. It's very nearly that long since Posh and I decided to separate, after which, as most of you know, I spent 6 months living with Rogers, who kindly took me in and under his wing, including culinarily. Only in late July did I get my own place, this lovely little pad I call - and am making - home, in this strange city full of people who talk funny. My mother, Knower of All Things, said back in January that this was my Saturn return in action: it had all been kickstarted by Father Time himself.

It's been a big year for me, with Chronos at my side. I've been up and down, moving on, growing up. I've been back in time, and delved into corners of my mind left festering, I've looked into pits and seen monsters, and had nightmares. And I've looked up at the sky, and seen the stars, and ridden on clouds and flown. I've found new and old friends, and found out a great deal about myself.

I hope 2007 is good to us all, though it's always what we make of it. At the very least, I hope it deals us all a kind hand to play with. I resolve only to keep thinking and noticing things and learning. After 2006, I feel like anything is possible.

For you, if you're reading: May the longtime sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you guide your way on.