Worried

There's a saying, or a quotation, or something, that my lovely overgrown hippy M&P told me, in an effort to think outside or against (or something) The System: If democracy worked, they wouldn't allow it.

I'm nervous about tomorrow. Last time I wrote about being worried about days, it was V's funeral. That was worth worrying about. I'm quite sure this is not. We have a big all day meeting tomorrow for work, reviewing our curriculum provision. Oh, how lucky we are, in fact, that we are not bound by government ideas of what we should teach! And yet, with 13 full-time members of staff, agreement seems a thing only of fantasy. Some will probably not be there, for various reasons--Ylloh because she's not really here yet; Lion because she's not really here at the moment; and IQ because she's never really anywhere and (it is increasingly clear) is probably not entirely All There. But even with everyone else, and even hoping that Lion and IQ can make it, it will be a struggle. 7 hours of round-the-houses.

Olga says it's ok, because if she doesn't like what's agreed, she's in a position to make us all do it again, which since she and I are on the same side is Good News. But we've been planning this for a while; we carved out a stealth email that has given everybody the information ahead of time about what she/we were proposing, but was designed not to produce any thought or response. For the most part, it seems to have worked. As Olga says, you never go into a meeting not knowing what the outcome will be.

It's important that everyone feels like they've had the say that they want. But I'm worried that they'll all shout too loudly. Not literally--although that's crossed my mind--but in that one may call for one thing, another may call for another, and I can see it now... it'll be pulling in different directions, all individually... I can't expect anything else, but still... I want it to be easy.

I think Olga, Rabbit, and I have worked out a pretty sound proposal, and I just want them all to agree with it, without unnecessary backwardsing and forwardsing about notation and technical skills and oh-it's-all-the-A-levels'-fault. Big Sigh. I just want them to feel like they've had a say, but in the end to agree. It's really the only way....